Practicing Personal Responsibility: What really needs to change?
We’ve become a nation of perceived rights and if those rights are violated, we are quick to blame others. This has never been more evident than in today’s business environment where if something goes wrong, we are quick to find fault--- usually in others. We usually ask, “How could this happen?” and “Who dropped the ball?” and “Who’s going to solve the problem?”
But what if we were to stop and ask questions in a different way? What if we could ask questions that would help us to eliminate blame, procrastination, and complaining? That is the premise in the book, QBQ! The Question Behind the Question, by John G. Miller. Miller turns questions around to help us find solutions that we otherwise wouldn’t notice.
This new way of looking at how we ask questions forces us to take more responsibility for our own personal accountability. QBQ! is a great quick read offering insight and wisdom for both business leaders as well as employees. It offers a new way at looking at challenges that is not too difficult to implement. It just requires being open to changing embedded toxic behavior and bad habits and incorporating a new line of questioning.
Here is an example of how we can take questions we are all guilty of asking and then looking at the question behind the question:
Q: “Why do we have to go through all this change?”
QBQ: “How can I adapt to the changing world?”
Q: “Who dropped the ball?”
QBQ: “How can I help?”
Q: “When is somebody going to train me?”
QBQ: “What can I do to develop myself?”
Q: “When are they going to tell us what’s going on?”
QBQ: “What can I do today to excel at my work?”
Do you see the difference? It is a novel and simple idea that only requires a new way of thinking.
Key Point: Begin today practicing rephrasing your questions so that the accountability falls on you.
This book can be read in one night (only 114 pages), but is the kind book that should probably be re-read several time a year because of the insightful tips and useful information offered. Here is just a glimpse of what Miller advises:
1. Procrastination- Simple. Take care of the small things while they are still small
2. Outside the Box- Miller suggests we focus first on working inside the box until we master that system first
3. Team Training- People change one at a time first, then the team changes
4. Accountability- Begin by encouraging personal accountability before holding others accountable
Key Point: Slow down and don’t over-complicate things.
Miller has a great chapter in the book titled, Beat the Ref. It discusses the time when Miller was wrestling at Cornell University where his father was the head coach. His Dad would tell him to “beat the ref,” meaning that you can’t blame the referee for making questionable calls even if you lose in overtime by one point. Miller translates “beat the ref” in being a salesperson who has the maturity to say, “I was outsold,” instead of complaining about the product, the price, and the lack of advertising. It means being a manager who doesn’t complain, “Why aren’t my people motivated?” or employees who don’t complain about management, saying, “Why don’t they tell us what’s going on?”
QBQ is about redirecting the question so something can be done about it. Miller says that we should use the word “I” more in our questioning. He says that questions that contain “I” turn our focus from other people and circumstances and putting it back on ourselves where we can do the most good.
Key Point: Question yourself to find results for a particular situation.
Finally, one of the best takeaways from QBQ is found in Chapter 37 where Miller describes our habit of listening to self-improvement tapes or buying too many books without first putting what we already know into action. Miller says that learning is really about translating knowing what to do into doing what we know: It is about changing.
Johnny Duncan, President of Duncan Consulting, Inc., is a business writer and consultant partnering with business owners to provide workforce management solutions including customer service training, job analysis, people-to-job matches, and conflict resolution. He can be reached at johnny@duncanconsult.com or by calling 407-739-0718.