Over the years, the word networking has taken on a new dimension, and not for the better. If you are like me, attending a networking event just to hand out business cards and chat for thirty seconds to someone who hands you a business card and moves on to the next person, is not my idea of building a network. The most successful business people are those who build relationships and use networking in order to help others instead of just looking at what others can do for them. Learning how to network is a great way to build lasting business relationships as well as friendships.

One great way to learn about networking is to seek the advice of an expert networker such as Keith Ferrazzi, the author of Never Eat Alone. This book is another one of those timeless keepers that needs to be read and added to your personal library. Ferrazzi took what he learned from an early age and applied it to his own life to prove it works. The son of a small-town steelworker and a cleaning lady, he first used his remarkable ability to connect with others to gain a scholarship at Yale, a Harvard MBA, as well as several top executive posts. He developed a network of relationships that included prominent contacts in Washington and Hollywood's A-list, and was selected as a Global Leader for Tomorrow by the Davos World Economic Forum. Though filled with great stories and tips, three key points emerge from Never Eat Alone that you can begin applying today.

1. Network with an eye toward making other people successful

This is the premise set by many successful people. Zig Ziglar said that you can have anything you want in life if you just help enough people get what they want. Ferrazzi says it this way, “If you do something to make someone else more successful, they’re more likely to value your relationship with them, and the more relationships you have with value in them, the more valuable you become.” In Chapter 2 of Never Eat Alone, Ferrazzi stresses the importance of not keeping score, but doing whatever is asked of you in order to help the other person. It should not be seen as a tit for tat situation or playing the Mafia Godfather and saying, “One day I may call on you.” But rather a genuine going-out-of-your-way effort to provide what the other person needs. Key Point: Make it your weekly goal to help at least two people in your networking group just to experience the joy of helping others succeed.

II. Begin building your network now

Chapter 4 of the book is titled, Build It Before You Need It, and it clearly illustrates the need for networking on a continual basis even though you may think that relationships with others are not important to you right now. Ferrazzi offers suggestions to get started such as joining community groups that interest you, taking leadership positions in hobby groups that interest you, enrolling in a local community college class on the topic of interest, or try to become involved with an approved work project that enables you to come into contact with more people. Key Point: You don’t want to be at rock bottom trying to build up your network. Begin now while things are good. True, you don’t have the time… make it!

III. Never eat alone

The title of the book, Never Eat Alone, makes a clear, but bold statement. Use your time wisely and offer to take a new contact to lunch or for coffee. This is not the same as taking a prospect to lunch, though network contacts have become customers before. The difference is that you are looking to see what it is that you can offer the other person in order to help them succeed. The message from Chapter 11, Never Eat Alone, is that the time spent in dining with others is usually a relaxing event and puts everyone at ease. Ferrazzi suggests even inviting multiple contacts to lunch at the same time in order to make introductions and offer various views on different topics. Using this time to continually build your network forces you to mix both business and pleasure time frames for building fruitful, lasting relationships. Key Point: Use every opportunity to network and build upon your contacts, learning more about them and how you can help them in their journey toward both business and life successes.

Conclusion

Psychologists have found networking ranks right up there with public speaking in regard to fearful tasks to perform. Ferrazzi stresses the point that it doesn’t have to be and that realizing that networking is a way that you can help others, shines a new light on networking activities. Look at your network construction in the same way and begin today to build strong business relationships.

  Johnny Duncan, President of Duncan Consulting, Inc., is a business writer and consultant partnering with business leaders to provide workforce management solutions including leadership coaching, customer service training, job analysis, people-to-job matches, copywriting, and conflict resolution. He can be reached at johnny@duncanconsult.com or by calling 407-739-0718.