Many of us in business tend to shy away from increasing our networking contacts. For others, it comes natural and there are even some people that thrive on it. These are of course, the extroverts that drive those of us that may be in the middle of the extremes a little crazy. In her bestselling, self-help book, How to Work a Room, Susan RoAne helps us to break out of our shell and gain more confidence in making contacts. RoAne explains the importance of active listening, of purposeful conversation starters, of leaving a great impression, of providing the perfect handshake, and more. It is a book that you as a business leader can use to refer to often and begin incorporating RoAne’s strategies and tips right away. This is one of the must-have books to flip open just prior to attending that important meeting or networking event. photo credit: Digital-Designs via photopin cc In a world of instant-messaging, emailing, tweeting, and Facebooking, it is becoming increasingly more difficult to find people looking forward to face-to-face contacts. However, real business contacts begin with building relationships, and real relationships begin with interacting with people in person. According to The Shyness Clinic (yes, it does exist), 93% of American adults self-identity as shy, but there is good news. How to Work a Room offers a ton of good, solid information you can begin using immediately that can help even the most introvert among us. Let’s cover what I believe to be three major points from the book.

I. Preparation is Crucial

RoAne stresses that prior to an event that you know you will be attending, prepare for it like you would a grand presentation to a client. Even if it is a local industry association event you attend the first Tuesday of every month, prepare for who you will talk to, what you will say, and how you will say it. If it is an event that you aren’t sure if you will know anyone, prepare in advance your elevator speech, that is your 30-second response you will give to anyone who asks what it is that you do. Part of your preparation is learning to eliminate what RoAne calls “roadblocks to communication,” we’ve learned at an early age that include:

• Wait to be properly introduced
• Don’t be pushy
• Avoid mixed messages
• Don’t talk to strangers

Key Point: Don’t attend any networking or business event without first putting in the extra time to prepare for giving your best. Be aware of your self-imposed limitations and learn to stifle them.

II. Bring Your OAR

If you are like me, small talk gets old very quickly. Some people get bored and find it takes effort to participate in small talk. If you are like that try to remember O.A.R. to get you across the lake to meet people. OAR stands for:

• Offer observations
• Ask questions
• Reveal something

Use OAR to break into conversations instead of waiting to be introduced. In preparation for using OAR, make an effort to become a more avid reader of various topics, but particularly those that are relevant to the event. What prevents most people from being successful at networking says RoAne, is the hesitancy to mingle. OAR opens doors for you to do so. Key Point: Learn to small talk with the best of them. Ask questions and listen intently to the responses. When the topic has ended, ask more questions. Learn all you can about the people you are mingling with.

III. Follow Through

After networking events, with a handful of business cards in your possession, take the time to follow up with the people you’ve met. Hopefully you remember something distinctive about them. If not, learn to write small notes on their business card or a piece of paper as you walk away during the event. RoAne says that networking is a lifestyle. Learn to make it a natural process so that after the event, you send a kind note of gratitude, a follow-up invite to lunch, or a phone call to continue to build the relationship. Key Point: Be personal and follow-up with your contacts. Do what you promised you would do at the event and always take the first step in initiating the next steps. Most all of us find it difficult to network, but after a quick read of RoAne’s book, How to Work a Room, you should be a little more at ease by applying her strategies for building better relationships, helping more people, and gaining more business than ever before.

Johnny Duncan, President of Duncan Consulting, Inc., is a business writer and consultant partnering with business leaders to provide workforce management solutions including leadership coaching, customer service training, people-to-job matches, copywriting, and conflict resolution. He can be reached at johnny@duncanconsult.com or by calling 407-739-0718.